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Matthew Lee

$12,322.27 raised

Target: $10,000

Donate to Matthew

I'm going dry this July to raise funds for people affected by cancer. We all know someone who has been affected either directly or indirectly in some way by this terrible illness, and I figure laying off the tubes for a month is a very small sacrifice to make when compared to the 1000's of NZ'rs each year who suffer without choice. I don't think it will hurt my own health and well being to have a month off either.....

Status Updates

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$20.80 from Amy Richardson

Great effort, Pike. Loving the daily updates. Hopefully Simon can splash out on more than $1.50 so as not to embarrass the family name!

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Cheers Coons. I would be sticking with your married name for the next wee while if I was you...

Status Update

Day 28 – Sunday. I expect a fairly big “Sunday Sesh” (refer day 7) has been had today by the Celtic Senior and Senior B Celtic footy teams and well deserved. Many may scoff about excess consumption on a Sunday, but the day of the week or time of the day doesn’t seem to really mean anything when you consider the fact that at any one time, 0.7% of the World’s population are drunk, which means right now there are 54,000,000 people currently shit canned somewhere. I know at least 30 of them will be at the Celtic clubrooms. Magnificent.

Here is where you give up your hard earned $ to help those who could use it :

Today’s beer is DB Export Gold. Export Gold is a beer that makes no attempt to do anything, be anything, or try anything. It has no defining characteristics, no personality, and no flavour. It’s not a bad drink. There’s technically nothing ‘wrong’ with it, it’s just kind of… nothing. What’s the point of it? If it were a spice, it’d be flour. It’s the Wellington Phoenix in liquid form. It’s as basic as stripes, ugg boots, and sodium hydroxide.

It’s beer by the minimum possible definition. It tastes like nothing, which makes it the preferred choice of beer drinkers who don’t actually like beer. I think of it as a gateway drink – great for new drinkers or high school kids who want to acquire a taste, but beyond that, it’s time to move on to something with flavour. Have you ever met anyone who genuinely loves Export Gold? They barely even count as people. Try striking up a conversation with one of them and the only thing they can talk about is the weather and how much they like or dislike the song that’s currently playing. Beyond that, their chat dwindles to just showing you mediocre memes they saw on Facebook this week. And just like its loyal drinkers who will happily drone on again and again about that one try they scored for the 1st XV 25 years ago, Export Gold still tries to advertise the fact that it won Best Lager in the World in 1994. Probably not as bad as my beloved Speights still claiming gold medals it won 139 years ago, but still kind of pathetic.

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$56.85 from Ben Fitts

Loving the write ups Pike! Very clever. Good on you, great cause.

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Cheers Ben, expect there would be no shortage of Dutch beers to sample where you are...
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$41.40 from Jax and TJ Johnson

Awesome effort Pike! Your beer reviews have been a highlight each day in our house..thanks for the belly laughs 🍻

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Good on ya team - hope all well in Akaroa!
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$154.70 from Dusters & Jan Bull

Good work lee-dog!

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I have shared a few laughs with you over the years whilst sampling Dion...
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$56.85 from Andrew Hill

Great work Pike!! Love the daily write ups!!!

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Cheers Randy, WBHS got up this year I see!

Status Update

Day 27 – Saturday. In case I haven’t mentioned previously, Saturdays are for the boys, so the boys and I (and wife and daughter walking behind) went down to Alpine Energy Stadium to watch the Celtic Senior and Senior B rugby teams contest the final of the Hamersly and Jack Glover Cups against the Temuka magpies. We came away with 1 from 2 today, the Mighty B’s playing marvellously to take the silverware in their game, however our beloved seniors were soundly beaten by a pretty slick Temuka outfit, to bring their magnificent dynasty to an end after a dominant 10 years on top. Great rugby all round, both sides have been a pleasure to support all year, and for now it’s the B’s turn to be in the spotlight – the Lion Browns will be flowing tonight! Sponsors day at Saikou Teppanyaki and Whiskey Bar from 2pm tomorrow. Up the B’s.

Donations may continue to be made via the following link:

Today’s beer is Singha Thai Beer, specifically the Chelsea FC edition. Just when you thought this beer couldn’t get any worse, they put it in a can whereby it goes warm instantly and is flat after three sips. Despite its popularity in its home country Thailand, this beer is as flaccid as an impotent Buddhist monk with testicular cancer. On the nose, it shows a soy sauce aroma with a hint of chicken pad thai. On the mouth, I’m tasting stale air, similar to that of a busy Patpong bar during a ping pong show and the aftertaste simply lends to next morning regret and a burning sensation whilst piddling. Another example of watery shit tasting rubbish, I reckon if I pissed the bed, wrung it into a bottle, and played Russian roulette with some mates and a 6 pack of Singha, no one would lose, or win.

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Status Update

Day 26 – Friday, rushed off my feet today so little time to ponder life for this chat. Go the Celts, believe there is a story on TV1 sport news this evening for anyone interested. If they win their 11th title tomorrow I am advised all beer at Saikou Teppanyaki and Whisky bar well be free for a week.

Old mate up ahead has received some almighty donations today, so I am lagging a fair way behind – hopefully most of you still think I cannot manage 30 days, so I still have some donations coming if I am able to abstain for another few days.

Today’s beer is not a beer as such, but a brewery who makes beer – Sawmill Brewery. A privately owned, very independent, very popular and very proud craft brewery in Matakana. I went to school and university and then worked with one of the owners, and together we started our respective journeys with craft beers, both appreciative consumers at that stage, but one has since gone on to be very good at making it while the other is still just an appreciative consumer. Their beers all speak for themselves so get out and try them, rather than me putting fancy adjectives into your head. I can't finish without regaling a tale of woe from another time in our lives. When said co owner and I worked together, we someone managed to fool our employer on a regular basis to allow us to travel together to far away destinations such as Hong Kong, Singapore and France. In Singapore we chipped away slowly testing the response to our travel expense claims. When no issues raised, we went to Paris, where we took up smoking darts as that’s what the locals did as we supped grog at numerous Al Fresco cafes and bars along the Seine. But it was in Hong Kong we really ramped it up, and where this story comes about. After a full on day visiting clients (read : not doing any work whatsoever), we arrived back at our hotel and decided to pop out for a quick bite to eat – a little later (a lot later) having torn the ears off Lan Kwai Fong and Wan Chai, we returned to our non-smoking rooms to smoke cigars and consume room service red wine. Sometime later I woke confused, needing to use the bathroom – so up I get, naked as usual, and walked through the door to what I thought was the toilet – my first mistake. So here I was nude, in the hallway on the 26th floor of a 5 star hotel. I kept calm, and possibly even had a giggle at my dilemma, that is until I felt a gurgle in the depths of my stomach, must had been a bad street vendor chilli crab earlier – my second mistake. So by now panic was ensuing, but I managed to find a napkin on a used room service tray, and quickly headed towards the elevator, cramping badly. Do you know how SLOW elevators go at 3am? Very slow, as if the motors are all asleep. So I arrive at the ground floor, covering my tackle with some strangers soiled napkin, and having soiled my own self all down my legs in the elevator. I am not kidding, when the doors opened there was shit everywhere, and a pasty white slightly overweight man standing there nude looking around for someone to blame. I kindly requested the poor lady at reception for a spare key, turned and headed back to my room – integrity intact…Anyway, try Sawmill Beer, you won’t regret it.

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$500.00 from Ian Hurst

Proud of your effort, and loved the missives.
Enjoy coming out the other side
Go Celtic and ABs

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Thanks Arch, very generous of you mate, very much appreciated. There’s a fair bit to be said for this non drinking caper, but I’d never admit if if questioned in a public forum!!
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$31.10 from Jason Smith

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Good man Pa, you still in Taupo? Heading up for SC vs. KC later in September
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